I am the Respondent, what should I do? |
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| If your husband/wife hasn’t already started divorce proceedings, the best thing to do is to try and agree as far as possible on the divorce petition and, most importantly, the statement of arrangements for children. You can sign the statement of arrangements for children before proceedings if you agree with it. It is also helpful to agree costs. |
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| You will, or will have, received the following documents from the court: |
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- A copy of your husband’s/wife’s petition (form D8);
- An acknowle dgement of service form (form D10);
- If you have children under 16 or between 16 and 18 in full-time education or training a statement of arrangements for children completed by your husband/wife (form D8A).
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| If you agree to the divorce and agree with the statement of arrangements of children. |
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| You will need to complete the form D10 and return it to the court as soon as possible. Completing this form is fairly straightforward. Possible problems might be: |
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- Question 1 A – if there are proceedings, you are likely to need additional advice and should consult a solicitor or contact us;
- Question 1 B – if you are not habitually resident (normally live) in England and Wales, or are not domiciled (regard it as your home), the court may not be able to deal with the divorce. Again it would be a good idea to get some additional advice;
- Question 5 – if the petition is for adultery and you agree with the petition, you need to put yes.
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| If you don’t agree with the divorce petition |
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| It might have come as a shock to you to receive a divorce petition at all. Maybe you were aware of the fact that there were problems but hadn’t realised that they were as bad as that. Or your husband/wife might be making allegations about your behaviour which you consider hugely exaggerated or even outright lies. Your husband/wife might have behaved just as badly or worse or s/he may be in an adulterous relationship and using behaviour allegations to get a divorce. Any disbelief or anger you might feel about this is, of course, completely normal and understandable. |
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| Before deciding what to do next, the most important thing to do is to try and be as rational as possible. We do understand that that is asking an awful lot but an emotional decision in divorce proceedings can be very expensive and achieve very little. So, before deciding whether to defend proceedings or not (and maybe issue your own petition based on your husband’s/wife’s behaviour or adultery), you might want to ask yourself the following questions: |
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- Do you want to stay married to him/her given that s/he obviously doesn’t want to stay married to you?
- Do you feel strongly that your version of the reasons for the marital breakdown should be heard keeping in mind that the only people reading the petition are you, your wife, your respective legal representatives and the judge?
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| If your answer to these questions is no, you might be best advised to let the divorce go through, though you may wish to negotiate on the question of costs. If you are determined to defend the petition and, possibly, to issue your own petition, you will need to see a solicitor as soon as possible. There are strict time limits on doing this. Alternatively, you may wish to do this yourself with our support. |
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| You do not agree with the Statement of Arrangements for Children |
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The first thing to do is to return your own Statement of Arrangements to the court together with your Acknowledgement of Service form. The form, together with detailed guidance notes and an example of a completed form is available from us. You might also want to contact the court to see if they can set up a conciliation meeting between you and your husband/wife at this early stage.
This is basically a meeting between the two of you and one or two Conciliators, people trained in trying to help people to reach an agreement. It is always better for the children if agreement can be reached as it minimises emotional stress to them and their parents to not have a full-blown court case and welfare investigation. Should this not work, you will have to make an application under the Children’s Act. Our free article on this and the relevant forms and guidance notes will be available on this site shortly In the meantime, you are best advised to see a solicitor or to contact us for advice |
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| Your husband/wife is claiming costs against you and you don’t want to pay them |
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| As a rule of thumb, the court will award costs (i.e. order you to pay your husband’s/wife’s costs or not) on the following basis: |
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- Adultery – Respondent pays costs;
- Behaviour – Respondent pays costs;
- Desertion – Respondent pays costs;
- 2 years separation and consent – each party pays their own costs;
- 5 years separation – each party pays their own costs.
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| The first thing to do is indicate on the Acknowledgement of Service form that you do not wish to pay the costs. You should give a reason, for example that your husband’s/wife’s behaviour was what caused the marriage to break down, or his/her adultery. It is possible that you will have to attend court to state your reasons for not wanting to pay costs in front of the judge. |
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| In many cases, the Petitioner will agree to not pursue costs if you say that you don’t feel you ought to pay. If you do get an order for costs made against you, this will often only be for the fees and some limited legal advice. |
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| If you should have any questions on any of these issues after reading this article, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Our family law expert will be happy to help you. |
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| Important note about your will |
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| When you were married, your old will became void. This does not happen on divorce or separation. If you never had a will anyway, maybe it is time that you did. We provide a range of template will documents to suit everyone, with loads of advice and over thirty easy-to-read free information articles about aspects of wills and tax. More |
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| You can find links to information on wills here. |
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| Net Lawman documents can be found here: Last will and Testament Template |
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