‘Unreasonable’ behaviour petitions tend to result in far more legal battles than petitions based on the other four facts. Nobody likes to be accused of behaving so badly that their partner cannot ‘reasonably’ be expected to live with them. People may well feel that their partner has behaved just as badly or even worse. This can result in both sides feeling very angry with each other which can make reaching an agreement difficult, if not impossible.
Having your day in court is likely to be very expensive, even if you ‘win’ and should be avoided if at all possible. One way of doing so is by using one of the other facts wherever possible.
Examples
R. is having a sexual relationship with CR and wants to divorce P. for ‘unreasonable’ behaviour. In this case it might be better for P. to divorce R. for adultery.
P. and R. want a divorce. P. feels that R. has behaved ‘unreasonably’. R. is having a sexual relationship with someone else. In this case P. could divorce R. for adultery rather than ‘unreasonable’ behaviour.
If this is not possible, great care should be taken when drafting the petition. The allegations have to be strong enough to stand up in court but should cause as little offence as possible to the other side. Sometimes this can be done by agreeing the incidents of ‘behaviour’ to be included in the petition. In addition careful wording can also ‘soften the blow’.
How can I tell whether behaviour is ‘unreasonable’?
There is not easy answer to this. Some cases are very straightforward, like violence, for example. In many cases it’s a question of the particular effect the behaviour of one partner has on the other. If the effect is mild (irritation, annoyance, boredom etc.) it is not sufficient. If the effect is more dramatic and this is clear to your partner, it may well be sufficient. The test is whether s/he has behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with him/her. The question the judge asks himself is: ‘Would a reasonable person conclude that this person cannot be expected to live with his/her partner?’
Example 1: R. tends to squeeze toothpaste in the middle. P. is a very orderly person and this annoys him/her.
A reasonable person would probably conclude that this was part of the wear and tear of living with someone and that it was not unreasonable to expect P. to put up with it.
Example 2: P. has a traumatic childhood experience involving toothpaste being squeezed in the middle. S/he has told R. about this and asked him/her repeatedly not to squeeze the toothpaste like that because it triggers memories and makes him/her feel stressed and unhappy. R. deliberately continues to squeeze the toothpaste in the middle.
Here a reasonable person might conclude that it is unreasonable to expect P. to continue living with R. because R.’s behaviour has a very strong effect on P., R. knows the effect it has and R. could fairly easily change his behaviour but deliberately chooses not to.
In general a number of different types and incidents of unreasonable behaviour are set out in petitions. It is important that at least one of these has taken place within six months before starting divorce proceeding, otherwise, as in adultery, you’re presumed to have forgiven your partner.
We can help you with all aspects of drafting your behaviour petition. If you want us to draft all documentation relating to your divorce, our all-in service might be a good option. Alternatively, if you have some questions or you would like us to draft just the petition, our family law expert will be happy to help you. If you feel you need less of a helping hand, example documents and guidance notes are available, either in packs
